Overview
1.Talk to the person individually
2.Talk to the person with few others
3.Talk to the person with elders of the church
Bible Passage
Matthew 18:10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.
Bible Passage
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Introduction
The previous passage is on restoration of the lost sheep
The next passage is on restoration of relationships through forgiveness.
Involve the person
There is no discussion without the person in question
Talking behind the back could be counterproductive
If acceptance happens after any step, the process stops there.
Step 1:Talk to the person individually
Only God can judge.
The point is not winning an argument or winning a point but winning them over to Christ’s side.
Step 1:Talk to the person individually
We are also sinners
We can share God’s grace we have experienced in our sin
We need to bring it as a new perspective they may have missed, not point the finger.
Step 1:Talk to the person individually
Just like Esther prayed with her people for 3 days before talking to the King.
Prayer is mandatory and God’s guidance for wisdom.
Our Responsibility
We need to continue to show love and lift up the person.
During my short stint in school teaching, a high school boy Sanjay was always failing in all subjects. His parents said he was rebellious and could not get through to him.
I told him I believed he can score very well not only in my subject but even in others. He started working hard and rose to 2nd position in the class.
His parents could not believe the change.
Step 2:Talk to the person with few others
Step 2:Talk to the person with few others
communication without condemnation.
Focus should always be on the issue and not the person.
Personal comments should be avoided so also arguments at a personal level.
Objectivity should be maintained.
With heaps of love.
Break Mob Mentality
When everyone is biased in a direction, stand up and bring a balanced perspective.
During my short stint at high school teaching I was science teacher and class teacher of standard 10 kids.
The other staff found them rebellious and wanted to expel them due to their tendency to “gang up” and disruption activities occurring in the school.
I said their togetherness is just to give them security not to cause disruption. They were let off with a warning.
It was found that one boy was the sole cause of all disruption.
Step 3:Talk to the person with elders of the church
If any one member has spoken privately to an elder in advance, the other member should have a chance of giving their viewpoint privately so that there is no bias.
Elders should ideally be known to both parties and mediators both parties are comfortable with should be identified.
Step 3:Talk to the person with elders of the church
There are two perspectives to this
- Restoration
- Excommunication
Step 3:Talk to the person with elders of the church
Excommunication should be done in very rare cases. This is when a sin is at risk of penetrating the church and the perpetrator is hardened to the truth.
Closure and Forgiveness
Forgiveness should be attempted with complete closure
The subsequent passage is on forgiveness.
Focus should be on God’s forgiveness and helping to get the new start.
Apostolic Authority
Matthew 18:18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. (Also ref Matthew 16:19)
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.
The love of Christ
While the apostles have greater authority, true servants of God are also given authority and should be respected.
This authority if misused disqualifies the person from exercising authority.
Jesus never stood on his authority.
There was always meekness, humility and love which overshadowed all actions.
This authority is not based on position but on the Holy Spirit’s gifting and the leader’s relationship with Christ
The Presence of Christ
Serving Christ is always in teams. Biblical principles do not endorse single authorities but team decisions with Jesus at the centre.
We have Christ’s presence with us as we work with others and should allow Him to take the lead.
TV/Movies - Restoration
In some TV serials/ movies even the secular world talks of restoring evil people. Eg. The children of villians in descendants and the evil queen in “Once upon a time”
Discussion
2.What guidelines in group involvement for restoration should be followed strictly?
3.How have you won back a person backsliding? Share examples.